So, as of today, a little storytime.
Light your pipe, have a scotch, and enjoy.

I bought myself a bike.
Not that I dislike walking. But sometimes, you just want to get places quicker.

Nice modell, I have to admit that. I waited for ever though.
In the US, they had that modell for a year.

They didn't in germany.
And Importing would have been illegal. believe me, I checked.
Last month, I was able to get it for free for a few days, by visiting our local station, where they were parked up front, just ready for the taking, and to make a short ride.
Me gusta.

But at the end of the week, men in black suits arrived, and took all of the bikes. Because, the company did not want to loan them out for ever, they said.

I have to admit, that I was tempted. In the Backyards of the hood, there were people with that kind of bike, and they said that they would just give you a bike, for free.
I was not sure on that offer, and quickly walked on. After all, I am a law abiding citizen, and do not trust people who claim that stuff is free.

However, that is all irrelevant now.
My bikle is there, and it looks beautifull. However, now that I have it, I notice a few things.

Like, the big stickers on the wheels. Please, do not steal or copy the design of this bike. As a german, I am a bit confused.
Why should I steal that? After all, I payed good money for it.
And copy a bike? I mean, all jokes aside, I am not that talented. I am barely able to open a soda without hurting myself.
All in all, why should I? I mean, I bought it fair and square, so I will enjoy the hell out of it. But the sticker right on the saddle is not good quality, and when I sweat a bit, you can read the sticker from my pants. Not that I dislike people looking at my crotch, but it just feels wrong.

And the thing about the bike is only marginally inconvenient.
Before driving off for the first time, I have to call the manufacturer, and let him know in which three parts of the city I want to use the bike. Sound pretty strange, but it is actually more convenient that way. I mean, I don't really speak turkish, or chinese, so I don't have to look around the chinese quarters that much.
And if I would want to do that,. I would have to get a second bike, and register it for the foreign quarters. Even if I just drive there once a month to get chinese lessons, and eat some noodles.
I mean, if I drive into an unregistered part of the city, the bike locks down, and I have to call the manufacturer and excuse myself. Usually, they ask a lot of money to unlock the bike for me.
That ius just unfair, in my opinion, but well, I can understand it, at least a bit.

After all, the people buying the chinese version of the bike don't generally have that much money, and so the company does sell the bikes that are locked to only be driven in chinatown at a much cheaper rate. So, while I would love to get the cheap chinatown rate on my bike, I do not want the normal population of chinatown to suffer.
I tried calling the manufacturer last week, to ask if I could register my bike to drive to little italy< for shopping, to germantown to meet my mother, to the inner city to go to work and meet english speaking people and to little italy to meet with my current Girlfriend.
The guy on the other end just sighed, and told me that in my case, it was not possible to register the bike in all areas, and if I would consider purchasing a second or third bike for using it in the other sectors?
I did not want to give him any trouble, so I declined, and told him that I would walk then. He just continued to laugh like a hyena and make rude assumptions about my monetary status.

Well, there is also the thing with the body mass index. See, loaning the bike to my friends / my sister / my GF is not allowed. If I want to do that, I have to purchase second bikes for them at full price.
to prevent that, the saddle has tiny spikes, which poke into my bottom, and then send a soft electric current through. barely notable, but it results in my resistance number, measuring the fat percentage and the water percentage of my bum in the process. The problem is, I have to register a specific number. If I moove too much, I get below the number, if I moove to little, I get above.
If the actual resistance value does not fit within 1 % diviation, then the bike just locks up, and starts ringing its bell endlessly.
Holy guackamole, I have to watch what I consume now, or else my bike will not recognise me. As I have tried to call the manufacrturer and ask for a less secured bike, they told me that I was just a thief, who complained that their protection was too good, and that they would not change anything at all.

The other day, I wanted to give it a paintjob. Black, like the ammount of hate in my heart. but in the supermarket, they just laughed as I told them what I wanted to do.
"Have you asked the manufacturer? It says here you can only use his approved paints, or else the warranty is lost"
As if I hadn't noticed. The original manufacturer approved color is roughly 4 times the price of the standart no name color. I can't pay that.
"Well, then leave the bike like it is. besides, the manufacturer will have put some thought in it why he made it pink"
Most likely, the color change would be illegal too.


What I also like is that my city recently implemented new bikeways, besides the roads.
I was happy as a bug for a while, untill the new rumors started coming up.
"Well, the new bikeways will not be compatible with your bike. The tires are too small. they will just fall between the bumps, and get stuck. "
I asked a techie friend of mine, and got an answer I did not like. I would have to buy the next generation bike, that looks exactly like this generations bike, except with bigger tires. 
And just unmounting the normal tires, and then building in bigger ones?
Not possible. The forks of the bike were of highly breakable specialist glass, which made it so that buying a new fork from any material remotely the same quality as the old one would be three times the price of buying a new next generation bike.
I often thought about buying a no name bike, but the one I have now just looks that pretty, and the hype around them is not as massive.
But on the upside, the next generation bike will have slightly bigger wheels, with a sealed chain case. So the last part that could break will be safely stored away, for increased safety.
Also, now each time the bike breaks I have to buy a new one.

They also started to put up little electronic stations at my way to work. to controll who sits on what bike. I found that a bit disrespectfull, but complied. After all, I told myself, that is only to keep our bikes safe, and to prevent theft. The interesting part came as I was out of sight of the houses, leaving the city for a drive in the countryside. Apparently, the manufacturer had refused to pay for controlling stations in the countryside, so as soon as my bike was out of sight of the controlling house, it locked up the front wheel, planting me firmly face down in a bush of nettles. I had it good, compared to the day when misty weather blocked the view of the sensors of the little controlling stations. 400 people had the same fate as me, but in the city, where there is not much soft earth around to break your fall.
The manufacturing company just said that they were sorr<y, and instead of contributing to the hospital bills many people had, or to the time off of work, they simply offered everyone a free bell for their bike. There were protests at first, but it was quickly stifled. if you don't like it, or are too poor or too soft to drive the bike, please cry for yourself.
Nobody likey being called a crybaby, so people toughened up.

Oh, and last week, the manufacturer sued my friend Bill.
His Problem? His bike was stolen, and since the company could now hardly sell the same bike to the thief, even though he was unknown, they argued that they had missed a sale, which was as bad as stealing.  So, since he supplied his details, and the thief didn't, bill is now being sued for stealing and distribution of a free bike.
He should have been more carefull.
Like me. I walk a lot more on foot now. Watching all the people on bikes has become a lot of fun.

I wanted to give my bike away, for free, as a gift to my little sister.
I asked the manufacturer if I was allowed to, and was told that it would mean that they were unable to sell the  bike, thus, it would be like stealing from them. I wouldn't steal, would I?

I don't steal.

I now spend a lot more time in the backyards of the hood, sitting with a few friends, and building my own bikes from scratch. I will continue doing that till I die.
If they come, I am prepared....